Unreal.

I'm appalled. Its hard to explain how unbelievably confused and angry I am right now. So I'll just explain what happened and let you figure it out for yourself.

Today I went to my sculpture class, since my teacher has okay'd my revised sculpture plans (which make my sculpture literally just a box) I have a lot of free time in the class. So I asked if I could either go to ceramics and work or work on my wood sculpture. After a rather embarrassing response, the professor sent me on my way to work on my wood sculpture.

My wood sculpture is a set of wooden rings glued together. I'm currently using an air dremel to remove the hard edges and to shape the piece.
An air dremel is like a flux shaft but its powered by compressed air. At the VAA ("the lab/studio") we hook it up to our air line from the building. Because I'm removing so much of the wood I'm using the roughest bit we have.

This isn't the bit I was using, but its similar. I was using one that looked like this but it wasn't smooth, its covered in metal chunks all with sharp edges. Anyway, it takes a long time to dremel the wood just how I need it, and because of the vibrations and the lengthy use my hands become sore and tire quickly. Which my goggles on and a dust mask protecting my mouth, I begin to dremel away. Going over the surface of the wood and the edges to make sure I can get the ridges that I want. The air dremel, when in use, makes a load whistling noise from the air escaping through the internal chambers. It sounds just like a dentists drill (as they are both forms of air powered rotary tools and pretty much the same thing). So I also put headphones in while I work.

While I was working on this woodsculpture I feel something hit my foot. I didn't think anything of it. Then a piece of clay hit my leg and another one collides into the side of the dremel tool. Which is then jerked out of my hand, but thankfully it didn't roll down either of my arms or legs. As that would have completely shredded the first few layers of skin. When I was in 3D foundations I had an air dremel jerk off a scultpure I was working on and roll up my thumb and over my right hand. It was terrible, and as its just a bunch of little abbrasions, the amount of them was were the real pain came from.

When I looked up to see who could have been so unaware what they were doing, the entire class was playing the "lets pretend we didn't see anything" game. Without saying anything I just cleaned up my mess and left class immediately.

Maybe i'm over reacting. But ... you just don't throw something at someone whose using a power tool. It doesn't matter what kind of power tool either. I don't know who threw the clay, or if it was several people, all I know is that they should have known better. Where's the common sense?

Am I wrong?

yakudoshi,

goodbye. :)

"leaving me no choice but to unlock the chamber"

Today seemed to be like every other day at least at work. I clocked in, and started. Because it was a game day the rush was going to be more intense than normal. It was so busy that it seemed as though every rush was hours long. But that didn't matter.
Shortly after a rush started, I was working as fast as I could to get people out of the store when I noticed someone looking at me.
The motions at work are so familiar that I can complete the transactions with out looking at the register. This gave me the opportunity to become inebriated through my eyes alone. The other end of the stare was a friend of mine. But something was different. His eyes, they were so strong, it terrified me.

Paralyzed.

Yet, my body kept helping customers. It took me 10 minutes and blurry vision to break free from it. But the enchantment wasn't for waste. We were talking with our eyes.
My mother raised me to be a strong person. Mentally and physically. Which is why I could hold back the tears that began to drip over my heart. A cold chill got me to look up.

He was standing right in front of me. Leaning on the register across from mine. He pulled back and prepared to toss his javelin. Another rush came and he was pushed away from me. I could relax.
several rushes later. The night had come to an end.

But he was still there. slightly farther away this time. But he was already prepare with his eyes again. I couldn't move an inch. My body completely paralyzed this time. He steps forward, it rattles the chamber of my heart.

Burning and swollen the chamber rumbles.

The pain and sadness melting and blending into the happiness was an awkwardness that cannot be describe, leaving me no choice but to unlock the chamber.

the blunt metal chamber slowly opens and breaks away. The chunks of metal looked more like stones as they fell. You see, the chamber around my heart has been shut for a long long time. Any amount of stress could have destroyed it. When the last piece fell away from my scorching heart I felt a coldness. a strength I hadn't felt in a long time. The javelin had pierced my heart. The cold metal ripping through one end, but on the on the other side was an explosion of roots. Roots to take in the two things you need for life, Nutrition and Love.

He spoke, I answered.

I died.

I was dead long enough for the strings to collide. Restarting the universe and bringing me back to the very moment I had died. It was as if I had never died at all.

I drew his shapes in my head. Over and over. I was use to the roots from the javelin, which had sprouted branches and leaves as it went into my heart.

He spoke again. The waves pushed the tree into my heart, roots and all. The tree became fuel for a spark.
The spark became a fire.
the fire burst into an inferno.
The inferno burned a pure white.

I had certainly died, and been reborn.

He went home. Shortly after that I also went home. I paraded home. Flanked by 100 deers, 8 yellow birds, 3 turtles, and one tiny green grasshopper.

And now I'm here. Back to myself.

Falling...

asleep.

Red Rice with Chicken.

tempura!

Epiphanies

So, the semester ended with a strange explosion of ideas and a sour taste in my mouth. Mostly from when I checked my grades. Man, last semester was harsh.

As an artist, our greatest foe is the "artist funk", or when you can't get anything to come out right, or you just can't develop ideas at all. It's like that special way of seeing shuts down for repairs. Well last semester I was plagued with it. My artist eyes took a very long blink if you will. All ideas became a single strange of idea. Which I will scan and post later. But needless to say I was fucked in all of my classes. The solution for me? Introspection! Its painful at first, looking at your self. You see everything bad as well as good. And most of the time for me I encase things with the bad, so it took a while before I saw the good. But, once I carved away at the bad stuff the pain they brought was less and less. Then I discovered a wealth of good things, and I've been exploring them a lot lately. To my joy, this has cause several epiphanies and literally thousands of ideas for both my paintings and ceramics.

I'll have to go into this later tonight. I'm still cleaning house from the surprise (but very welcomed) party we had. :)

Cioa!

losing weight!

Hey,
Its been a long time since my last post but now I think I'll have time in the mornings to work on this thing. Today starts my new workout and nutrition routine. I figure it will take me a at least a month to get start to get to where I want to be.

I'm 5'11'' (I think! haha) and I'm about 180-95lbs. Which is the problem at hand. Its a big problem for me; for my self esteem and just for general health reasons. I'd like to get down to 155, but I also want to get a little bit more muscle mass so I imagine I'll get to about 160-70 but look much better. haha. Either way it's time to lose the weight and take back the insane amount of (as carson would say, chaotic evil) energy I use to have.

I'll post some pictures later... maybe a before and after picture! haha. (maybe we'll do that when I have the after picture, its so much easier to look at yourself when you know its what you USED to look like hahah).

Other than that I met a really nice guy who has extremely similar interest as me! (what are the odds?) haha. So I've been talking with him a lot lately and enjoying it.


As for my art, I've been jumping around ALL semester about what to do and where I was at in the art world. I had no idea as to what would happen! haha. It's a really long story so I'll try to post it tonight so I can see if I can get it all out of my system. But I do feel I have come full circle with JUST enough time left in the semester to make it out alive. :)

Well I'm off to make breakfast and head to the gym! Wish me luck!

Nathan